Jokers in the Town of Keene

Doc Goff

Doc Goff was a practical joker at times. The following stories may serve to illustrate: Leslie Gay, a thrifty, well-loved, excitable farmer living on the north side of the East Hill road, purchased a "Star" car, perhaps in the early 30's. "Les" was very proud of that car! Having driven horses all his life, the "Star" was a real luxury. However, 20 to 25 miles per hour was the top speed which Les used in traveling on the bumpy, gravel road on his occasional trips to the Valley.

One day Doc, a notorious speed demon, overtook him. Easing up behind Les and his "Star", he placed his front bumper gently against the rear bumper and gradually increased speed. Les probably didn't have a rear view mirror or may not have known how to use one. When his speed began to increase, Les took his foot off the accelerator, but the car continued to go faster! When it became evident that Les was beginning to panic, Doc, approaching Trumbull's Garage (now the local hardware store) "goosed" the vehicle forward and went nonchalantly by. Les pulled into the garage parking area, braked the car to a stop, and insisted that the mechanic tell him what made his car go faster when he took his foot off the gas!

On another occasion, knowing that Les Gay used profanity very freely, Elmer Ellsworth, Homer Brown and Doc Goff conspired against him. Homer called Les on the phone pretending he was a telephone official. He addressed him saying, "Mr. Gay, we understand that you use a great deal of profanity while talking on the 'party' phone line. I'm calling to advise you that due to this unbecoming practice, we are going to come and remove the phone from your home". With this, the impulsive, excitable Mr. Gay responded, "By God, you won't need to come and remove it, I'll take it out for you!" With that, Les tore the phone off the wall and threw it out in the driveway! When he found "the boys" had been playing a joke on him, Les, to the delight of his friends, had to pay to have his phone reinstalled.

Frank Holt Was a Wonderful Taxidermist

He could mount the heads and bodies of animals and make them look very lifelike

One spring the body of an elderly man was found floating in the Mill pond at Keene. The school boys who made the discovery went to Dr. Goff, the coroner, who upon examination pronounced death by drowning.

The deceased had come to Keene valley during the winter to visit his brother and the brother's wife. The hosts were also elderly people. In view of the tragic circumstances, a kind neighbor offered to help with the funeral arrangements.

The church with which his family were alleged to be affiliated required that a member had to be in good standing ( i.e.: all pledges paid et al) before a permit for burial would be issued.

Going to the head of his local church, their request was arbitrarily denied as follows: "Well, this man is not a member in good standing in my church so I can't issue a permit."

Inquiries were made as to where the deceased lived before coming to visit Keene and Keene Valley. It was thought that he may have lived in the Town of Black Brook. Driving to that community and contacting the head of that particular church the permit was again denied for the same reasons as were given in Keene.

The petitioners were told that the deceased might have lived in Redford during his earlier years. Motoring on to Redford an appeal was made to the head of the church in that particular parish. For the third time efforts to obtain a permit were unrewarded. The clergy would acknowledge no acquaintance or association with the deceased.

Understandably, the good Samaritan whose gas was running very low said to the passengers; "Well, if we can't get a permit to bury him, let's take him to Frank Holt and have him mounted !!"

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